How to talk sometimes

Sometimes it's good to talk

by Eileen Edwards on Apr 30, 2009

Sometimes it's good to talk and sometimes it isn't. People I help with relationship problems often ask, "Should we talk about it"? They are referring to a specific grievance or difference of opinion, which exists between them, and their partner. They are generally surprised when I answer, "no, not at this time"

Couples who disagree over specific issues or situations often feel that they have only two choices. These are either to argue about this subject or remain silent on it. If you and your partner are at loggerheads about a specific issue and your attempts to discuss it always end in argument stop discussing.

First you need to improve the quality of your relationship then discuss difficult issues. How do you do this? By using a technique called "acting as if". You act as if you were sharing your ideal relationship with your ideal partner. You may feel resistance to doing this for two reasons. You may feel that this is insincere or corny. Or if...Read More >>